what in the fuck. A Twilight question? REALLY, GUISE?

But to answer the question, I'd bring in bb Ryan Theriot.

You're So Vain, because then I would know who it is about ;D
And because lyrically, it's awesomely composed. But what do I know =P

My Computer-Denny
Phone-Rex, or Rexy
Camera- Sexay Rexy